I Said I Understood And I Did Not

It happens at a specific moment and you know exactly where it is.

He is explaining. The first part makes sense. The second part makes sense. And then there is a turn somewhere in the middle, a word or a step that assumes something you do not have, and from that point on it is sound rather than sense.

And what you do at that exact moment is say thank you.

Not at the end. At the turn. You say, right, yes, got it, thanks, and he stops, because you have told him to.

You have been doing this for years and you have never once let it run. And there is a reason, and it is not that you do not care.

The reason is that letting somebody keep explaining feels like taking more than you are owed. One explanation is what a person gives you. Two is a request. Three is an imposition, and a man does not want to be that.

So you close the door yourself, on purpose, at the exact moment you most need it open, and then you go away and manage.

I want to look at what that arrangement is built on, because it is built on a rule about what you are owed, and nobody has ever checked that rule against anything.

How can I, except some man should guide me

There is an exchange on a road where somebody is asked whether he understands, and his answer is one of the most useful sentences in the Bible.

And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him. (Acts 8:31, King James Version)

How can I. Not, I nearly have it. Not, I think so. How can I.

He is a man of standing, in a chariot, reading, and he says out loud to a stranger that he cannot do this alone.

You are in company with a man Scripture never once calls foolish for saying it plainly, and admitting a thing cannot be done alone has never been a mark against anybody. Acts 8:31 says how can I, except some man should guide me, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes that easy in the mouth of a man who has been closing the door for years.

Then look at the second half of the verse, which is the part people skip. He desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him.

He did not ask for a summary. He did not ask for the short version. He asked him to get in and sit down, which is an invitation to take as long as it takes.

You have a picture in Scripture of somebody asking for the long version, and nobody in that account has ever once been described as taking more than he was owed. The Holy Spirit is the one who was on that road arranging the whole meeting, and it is written that the guide was invited up to sit rather than to be brief.

And notice who arranged it. The account has the Spirit sending Philip to that road, at that hour, for that man.

The help was already on its way before the question was asked.

You were never intruding on somebody who was sent, and no guide has ever once been imposed upon by the person he was sent to. The Spirit of God is the one who sends people before they are asked for, and Scripture puts the sending before the question rather than after it.

What the rule is built on

Now let me be concrete, because a general reassurance will not survive the next explanation.

The rule says: one telling is given, two is a request, three is an imposition.

Where did that come from? Not from any of the people who have ever explained anything to you. None of them has ever said it. It has never been tested against a single actual person.

It is a rule made privately, from a general sense of what a man ought to need, and it has been governing every conversation of this kind for years without once being examined.

You are obeying a rule that no living person has ever confirmed, and a private standard has never once been the same thing as somebody else's actual limit. The Spirit of God is the one who shows a man which fence he built himself, and Acts 8:31 has a man asking for a whole journey rather than a summary.

And here is the second half, which is arithmetic. Saying thank you early does not save anybody anything.

It saves ninety seconds now and costs the same conversation again next month, plus the time managing badly in between, plus the small weight of knowing you did not follow it. Over a year, the early thank you is by far the most expensive option on the table.

You have been paying many times over to save somebody ninety seconds, and no closed door has ever once been cheaper than the open one would have been. The written word shows a guide invited up to sit for the length of a road, and the Holy Spirit is the one who does the arithmetic a man has been avoiding.

Four words at the turn

Now the small thing, and it is four words said at a precise moment.

I am not going to suggest a conversation about how any of this feels. That is larger and it is not needed, and it would make an occasion out of something that should stay ordinary.

What is needed is something to say at the turn, instead of thank you.

You are able to say four words at the moment the thread goes, and four words have never once been an imposition on somebody in the middle of explaining. Acts 8:31 has a man saying how can I, and the Holy Spirit is the one who is present in the half second where a man chooses between two sentences.

Here they are. I lost you there.

Four words, said flatly, in the middle, without apology. Not at the end when it is too late. At the turn, while the other person still has the whole thing in their head.

And that timing is the entire technique. A person who is stopped mid explanation can go back three sentences in about four seconds. A person asked next month has to build the whole thing again from nothing.

You are making it easier for the other person and not harder, and interrupting at the right second has never once cost anybody more than starting over later. The Spirit of God is the one who puts four plain words in a man's mouth at the right instant, and it is written that the one who was sent came up and sat down.